Guest post by Tess Marshall, founder of The Bold Life blog.
As soon as you set a big goal or go after a big dream, three things surface that stop most people: what ifs, fears and obstacles. These three things prevent too many brilliant and talented people from living their best life.
It takes persistence and perseverance to continue when things become difficult. If I can do it, so can you. I believe in you. In that spirit I share how I made it through graduate school for counseling psychology.
The what ifs
When I decided to go to grad school for counseling psychology, within minutes, the what ifs began to haunt me.
What if after paying tuition, I don’t like the program?
What if I can’t handle the reading, writing and pressure? What if I can’t figure out a diagnosis?
What if I make a mistake?
I eventually overcame my “what ifs.” I found a study partner and psychologist to mentor me. I devoted an enormous amount of time to reading, writing and studying over the next two years.
What ifs are your subconscious thoughts that have previously stopped you from achieving great things. Once you are consciously aware of them, you can deal with them and move on.
My fears
Fears that came up for me were: I’m not worthy. I’m not intelligent enough. I don’t speak or act like a professional. I’m afraid I don’t fit the mold.
The fears that come up when you decide to play big and follow a dream are normal. Everyone who chooses to leave their comfort zone and explore life has to overcome fear.
My obstacles
Finally, I dealt with the obstacles. I drove an hour each way to the university. The stormy winter weather made my commute especially difficult. I missed eating dinner with my family and often got home late. I missed being a spectator at my daughter’s sporting events and attending their sports banquets.
When obstacles come up, you deal with them the best that you can and move on.
Too many people quit when “what ifs,” fears and obstacles arise. They don’t think of themselves as winners. They don’t know their own strength. They shrink. They settle and life goes on as is.
When you set big goals, you’re forced to stretch and grow beyond your comfort zone. Unexpected things happen. Mistakes are made. So what?
Don’t allow thoughts, fears and obstacles to stop you from living a big life. Learn to welcome them, face them, deal with them and move on.
The person who you become in the process is always worth the journey. You learn new skills, develop new attitudes and discover amazing capabilities.
You discover new friends and experiences that take you to new places. Your life will never be the same.
Make the Impossible Possible
1. Face it. Name your fear. Write it down. Next, write down five things you could do to take action if you weren’t so afraid. Put them in order beginning with the one that seems like the easiest to do. Fear loses its power when it’s brought into the light.
2. Do it. You have to take action in order to succeed. Doing nothing is an excuse. Get up and get over your resistance. Take action on one of the five things you wrote down. Start with the least scary step and continue down the list. Cut off anything that will get in your way.
3. Stop your negative mental movie. Stop playing the “what if” scenarios in your mind. Fill in the blanks in the following sentence. I need to _____________________, and I scare myself by imagining ___________________. Most of the negative things you imagine won’t ever happen. The only thing you have to lose is your comfort zone.
4. Create a happy ending. When obstacles come up, imagine what you will feel like when you get to the other side of your goal. Make a positive mental movie. Give yourself the starring role and choose to feel good about it. Fill your future with amazing times and gifts.
5. Decide. Commit to doing what it takes. If you have to get up an hour early to write, do it. If you have to make five connections, make them. If you have to speak in front of a crowd, do it. It’s a heroic act to show up and do your best. There is power in decision and action. Your essence is bigger than your “what ifs,” fear and obstacles.
6. Surround yourself with the best. Make friends with people who are doing what you want to do. Being with others on the same path makes it easier. You begin to realize that you have the same magic, talent and strength as the others do.
7. Focus on everything amazing in your life. Learn to find joy in the moment. Be grateful for your breath, health, home, family, friends and everything that’s wonderful. You only have now. That’s what really matters.
8. Celebrate your struggle and success. Life is filled with ups and downs. It’s a learning process. Don’t wallow in hardship, obstacles and fear. There is never a good enough reason to quit.
9. Have a sense of wonder about the unknown. Learn to enjoy your journey. Stay calm and carry on—with a smile on your face. Choose to be free.
After graduation, I worked as a psychologist for one year in inpatient rehab, counseling drug addicts. The following year, I worked in a prison counseling people whose crime was related to drugs or alcohol. In two years, I gained the confidence and wisdom I needed to begin my own private practice and provide counseling to the “worried-well.”
Finally I moved across the country and now work as a courage coach and blogger.
There is no reason good enough to ever give up. You are strong enough to get through anything.
If you need support and guidance to follow your dream or live your best life, please check out my course, “30 Days of Bold.” You will learn how to make the impossible possible. You’ll go on to do great things.
Editor’s note: I will receive a commission if you sign up for this course. I’m happy to support Tess in her venture because she is one of my best friends on the internet and I admire her spirit and her dedication in inspiring people to do great things. Enrollment is now open for “30 Days of Bold.”
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How to Make the Impossible Possible: What Bold People Know and Do is a post from: The Happy Seeker - Aging with Wisdom and Joy